TRUTH SERUM with Little Miss Pharmacist…No-nonsense wisdom to help you avoid personal and professional pitfalls in your hospital practice.
Dear Little Miss Pharmacist,
What is the best way to deal with bitchy nurses?
– Karma
Dear Karma,
Great question! And one that many of my fellow hospital pharmacists, pharmacy students, interns, residents, and technicians alike will ponder to themselves time and time again.
Lucky for you I’ve had a fair share of experience dealing with “difficult” nurses, so I consider myself an astute authority on bitchy nurse behavior.
I’ve devised a handy dandy formula that accurately predicts nurse bitchiness within 5% (9 times out of 10):
Bitchiness = (yrs of nursing) (pt load – health care aides) (nightshifts) x (frump factor*) 365 (dayshifts) (general medical IQ)
*frump factor = subjective scale; 1-4 (Useful for FEMALES only)
A young, spanking-new grad nurse having a hectic day is an entirely different beast than the jaded, middle-aged nurse who is slowly imploding as (s)he bitterly counts the days to retirement. But rest assured, all walks of nurses can be managed with a little finesse and 3 simple rules.
The first thing you need to do is check your attitude at the door. Embrace your humility! All humans – let alone exhausted, over-worked, cynical nurses – do NOT respond well to cocky, know-it-all, condescending pharmacists. Keep in mind that they already pegged you as “one of the smart ones” and “rich” (two strikes already!) before you nonchalantly asked, “Duh. His ejection fraction is 20%, so why is he on a non-dihydropyridine calcium channel blocker? Did you give it already today?”
In Intro Chemistry you learned that “like dissolves like” and that heat flows from a hotter body to a colder one. Well, young grasshopper, a similar phenomenon is at play in human work relations: “bitch begets bitch” so playing nicey-nice will go a long way to prevent the thermodynamic entropy of your workplace from increasing.
Rule number 2: do not hold grudges. That would be the quickest way to make enemies. Everyone in that hospital (bitchy nurses included) has a brutal day from time to time. Stay optimistic that the next encounter will be a better one. Don’t expect apologies. Just get over it.
Third, be congenial. If a nurse actually sees you as a “friend”, it is much less likely that (s)he will snap at you. Get used to saying “please” and “thank you” a LOT. Smile! Take your coffee break with a nurse from time to time. And, at the very least, bring food to work. Bonus points if you bring a treat other than Tim’s donuts. Leave a note with your peace offering – something like “have a great Monday!” – and be sure to sign your name.
In really desperate situations you may need to stoop to underhanded suck-up behaviour. I’m not above false flattery (“Those crocs look so comfy! And I love the lime green!”) or even psychological warfare…
Display a picture of your kids, your mom, or your spouse in your workspace. Tell a heart-warming story about your family. Or better yet, ask a nurse for advice on how to deal with a personal situation (again, in that order: kids are better than mom, who is better than spouse). No need for the scenario to be a real one, just one where their advice elicits a resounding “thanks so much! I will definitely try that!”
But then there are the rare times when you are dealing with a bitter, tough, crusty nurse that no amount of kindness can penetrate. In these situations, where you feel you’re being outright ABUSED, you may find it extremely difficult not to bitch back or, at the very least, give ‘em a stink eye. Be strong! You must try to take the high road!
That being said, if you simply must have the last sass, in these situations it helps to keep a harmless comeback in your back pocket. Prepare one in advance that is poignant and sarcastic, rather than demeaning or threatening.
Here are two of my tried-and-true faves: “Look, I don’t want to play in your sandbox. I’m just here to do my job.” and “I hope your day gets better!” Keep in mind, though, that this tactic will only be effective at de-escalating the situation if you, yourself, play nice most of the time!
It takes years to build cooperative working relationships with so many stressed-out health care providers coming and going; but the more kind, “human”, and non-threatening that they view you, the better they will treat you. Good luck!
DISCLAIMER: The material on this website does not constitute advice and you should not rely on any material in this website to make (or refrain from making) any decision or take (or refrain from making) any action. Cheers.

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